While this sounds like a joke, it is unfortunately true. A popular goose known as Grumpy Gertie was reportedly shot dead in a pond on Sunday afternoon in Sandon, Hertfordshire when a gunman in a 4×4 allegedly opened fire while the goose was paddling along.
“The window of the passenger seat was wound down and then one of the two people inside is understood to have shot the creature in the head. Residents then removed the bird, simply called ‘Goose’, from the pond before being buried.”
The bird was described by one of the villagers as a “character” (probably a Liverpool fan then) which used to chaperone ducklings around the roads to keep them safe.
Grumpy Gertie was popular in the village, despite becoming aggressive during mating season, where he was known to prevent people from putting letters in a postbox. Everyone knew him, the kids loved him.” And he also “kept the foxes away”, she said.
Flowers and messages of tribute have been left in a disused phone box – next to the pond – where the bird used to sometimes go. The villagers have expressed shock, sadness and anger in Sandon, where people were “tearful” and “had lumps in their throats”.
It gets better. A £250,000 reward has been offered in an attempt to track down the killers of Grumpy Gertie.
A report from BBC confirms Grumpy Gertie was not shot according to test results.
A police spokesman said: “A full forensic post-mortem examination including a CT scan was carried out on the goose by veterinary pathologists at the Royal Veterinary College.
“This concluded the goose had not been shot.
“Whilst a precise cause of death remains unknown and more tests are being carried out at the Royal Veterinary College, a likely cause of death would be natural causes.”